Saturday, November 27, 2010

Southern Guidelines Yall!

Well, before I leave this wonderful, beautiful, amazing state of Kansas, I want you Kansas folks (and any other northerners for that matter) to understand us southerners language! So here's a guide to help you understand! (Couey, most of these are for you)

Sure, our way of talkin' is a little retarded and makes us sound real dumb.. but it is what it is!


First of all, the silver thing at the grocery store with 4 wheels on it... THAT IS A BUGGY. We do not call them shopping carts, carts, whatever may have you. It is a damn buggy. Ask anyone and every one, they will tell you that's what it is. I am not crazy.


Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb, Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Rootbeer, Cherry Coke, Mountain Dew, Fanta, etc. THESE ARE ALL COKES! We don't drink Pop, Soda, or Soda Pop..... we drink Cokes. "Ma'am, what kind of coke can I get you?" "I would like a Dr. Pepper." Is that so hard to understand? It's a coke. coke. coke. coke. coke. coke. coke. coke.


We do not drink iced tea either. I mean maybe if you're old, or a diabetic..... other than that we drink SWEET TEA. Usually it's not even a question of "Sweet or Unsweet?" And yes, I refuse to drink Sweet Tea in Kansas unless it's Red Diamond or McAlister's.

The place where you buy cigarettes, beer, late night snacks, and icees (no they don't have those in Kansas) is a gas station. Not a convenience store. Gas Station... usually Circle K.

Mom calls and asks me what I'm doing, "I'm fixin' to go to Circle K." <------- there is nothing wrong with this sentence.

You may think you know what "ghetto" is, but you do not. Come on and stop by on Sprague Street, I'll show you ghetto. Or Jewella, Downtown Shreveport, Cedar Grove, Wafer Road, Princeton Road, Hearne Avenue, etc.. whichever you choose.

Yes, you can be 18 and bartend.

YES! There are actually places where you can buy daiquiris to go. As in a Drive-Thru. It's kind of like McDonald's but with no food and lots of alcohol! We also have Drive-Thru tobacco places. 


For Thanksgiving, it is NOT weird to have Jambalaya or Gumbo. It isn't.

Yall is said by every person in the state of Louisiana. I don't care if you're a doctor. You say Yall.

Our state bird is the Brown Pelican and our state flower is a magnolia.... just in case you were wondering. :)

It is not uncommon to go muddin' in the dead of winter.... It is also not uncommon to ride 4-wheelers and tractors to school on your last day. Well, at least my high school. Yes, I rode in the front end of a tractor once.

For most people Sunday is Church, Football, and beer day.

Yes, we have parties in the woods. That is not weird. It's just really cold sometimes.

We have ice scrapers, ONLY to get the frozen morning dew off of our vehicles, not snow or ice.

Come to our Wal-Mart...... you'll see lots of interesting things :)

We the Revel and Mudbug Madness. At the Revel you can look at pretty art, make some stuff, drink some beer, and listen to music, and eat good food. At Mudbug Madness you eat a lot of crawfish that's overpriced, drink a lot of beer, and listen to a lot of music.

It is a crawfish. Not a crawnad, a crawdad, or a crayfish. And no, you didn't catch 500 at Lake ElDorado, Derek from Kansas. You also did not grill them on a grill.

LSU is pronounced L-ESH-YEW not L-ESS-U

Mardi Gras is where you wake up early, find you a spot by the road, get a lot of beer and alcohol, freeze your ass off, parade starts at 7ish you catch some beads scream really loud and act like the crazy drunk you are. No one gives a fuck at Mardi Gras. It is awesome. Go even further down south and you'll see some tits ;)

Sports are really important to us. That's why our weather station KSLA got bitched out with like 300 comments on facebook about how they were pissed for the weather team interrupting the LSU game. I think it was pretty severe weather, too. Not sure, I was in Kansas. I do know that the weather man had to be escorted out of the news station.

GEAUX means GO. I don't know why Kansas didn't teach yall that EAU makes an O sound... but the X is silent..... GEAUX GEAUX GEAUX! GEAUX TIGERS!!!! GEAUX SAINTS!!! Get it? I mean it's a french state. Hello.

We have parishes not counties. It was very, very, VERY odd when people asked what county I lived in here in Kansas. Which is Sedgwick County. In Louisiana, that would be Sedgwick Parish.

We still have paddles at schools in Louisiana.

Fleur-de-lis are every where. I mean every where. I think it's our state symbol now.

We eat alligator meat. It is VERY delicious.

This is all I can think of for now.... :) Smoke break! If you can think of anything else, please comment it on here or facebook!


THANK YALL SO MUCH YOU KNOW I LOVE YALL YALL ARE SO DARN AWESOME!!!!






Last day of school. In a tractor.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Things I just don't understand!

So... sometimes I see things on facebook, on tv, at work, or even just in public... and a lot of it baffles me to pieces! I just wanna share things that I just don't quite understand. (I'm going to go ahead and apologize for being a little too blunt :P)

I'll start with facebook! 

WHY WHY WHY do girls statuses always have to be something along the lines of "Omg, I'm having a horrible day. Don't text me or call me unless you're a family member or a girl. But I love you so much (name goes here) <3 <3 <3" or "I love my life and all the people in it. Especially my AMAZING boyfriend that I love so much. He's just so sweet and presh!" NO! Your boyfriend don't care that he's amazing, sweet, and presh. In fact, I bet he's barfing reading this. Why can't we say something like.... "Today is Thanksgiving. I'm going to spend time with my boyfriend (that I've only known for a couple of months) and we're going to do the same things most girlfriends and boyfriends do. Just because he tells me I'm pretty and texts me 24/7 doesn't make him the most amazing, sweet, presh person on the planet. But I do like him." Little more real, eh? Oh, and by the way. You're dumb to think he doesn't tell every girl he's trying to pull that they're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. And he doesn't love you. He loves your vagina. Ok?


Another thing I can't stand on facebook.... "Thiiz biitch` wanna tAlK thAt biiq shiiT, butt fucc `em iMMa k3ep doiin` me niqqa !!" Really? REALLY? First of all, the bitch that you're referring to probably doesn't even know it's her because you're too much of a coward to say anything to her face. Secondly, if the bitch DOES know it's her, it just took her 10 minutes to read it. So, why don't we type like we should, you fine Americans, that way we can all live peacefully. ;) Seriously though.. if this girl is talking shit, why don't you use the phone and take matters into your own hands instead of putting it on the internet. I'm sure this bitch will be much more terrified with you showing up at her front door. And if you want to talk all ghetto, at least we don't have to see/hear it.

One more thing I can't stand on facebook... letting your cleavage show (on purpose) isn't cute. Taking pictures in front of the mirror in your bathing suit isn't cute. Having the same 10 profile pictures in a row with you in the same outfit, hair, make up, etc. but it 10 different poses isn't cute. C'mon, no one cares that you love yourself that much.



Ok, now for things I don't understand on TV! 


All of these stupid reality shows. Where the hell did the sitcoms go?! I'm sorry Bret Michaels, but you're old and you wear a wig. I know you were cool in the 80s when you were rocking out to "AND BABBBYYY TALK DIRTY TO ME!" BUT, it's time to settle down, cowboy, and find a WOMAN. Not some dumb blonde bimbo that's around my age pierced up, tatted up, and basically naked. (nothing wrong with piercings and tattoos, but let's not be slutty about them) I'm sorry, but if you see a woman with her own name, or her CHILD'S tattooed on her tit..... you should probably reconsider what you're getting into.

I myself, have a potty mouth. I know this. But I absolutely do not think it's ok that words are becoming uncensored on television. What happens when you leave the TV on E! while your kid was taking a nap, you get up to go do something, she comes in the living room and says, "Mommy what does bitch mean?" C'mon America... I don't give a shit about much, but you could at least have some dignity!

I also don't understand polygamy. I'm just going to leave it at that. Kody Brown, you are a strange mother fucker.


Now on to the things that I don't understand at work....


You can not get 18 Traditional Boneless wings. We can not put bones in processed chicken.


Your 2 year old that's running all around the restaurant, put it in a high chair.


If I ask you if you want ranch, bleu cheese, or celery and you say no. Don't ask me for some when I bring your food out.


Don't touch me. Just don't. Whether it's slapping me on the ass with a menu, or touching my arm. Don't touch me.


You and your friends that come eat in your Tapout and Affliction clothes, aren't cool. Just more reason for me to verify that you are, for SURE, a douche bag.


Leaving me a 2.00 tip and on the credit card slip, writing "your hot" (which by the way is YOU'RE) or your phone number, yea. At least leave a good tip.


Now for the public entertainment...



I'm a firm believer that you can go into public looking like shit. If I need a pack of cigarettes and I'm in my royal blue sweat pants and a neon yellow hoodie, you best believe I'm not changing my clothes. However, I wouldn't go into a restaurant looking that way. Or the mall. Walmart, maybe.

Making out in the middle of the mall, or at every red light is completely unnecessary.

Walking down the middle of the parking lot when I'm driving trying to find a parking spot really makes me want to run you over.

When it's 50 degrees outside, and your child is in their car seat in nothing but a diaper and a shirt with no shoes.... something is wrong, terribly wrong.

Wearing your flat bill hat backwards leaning way, way back in your seat with your rap music blaring isn't cool. Especially in your '97 Crown Victoria.

There's really no need to speed off like you're cool after I just rejected you.





Ok, ok I'm done. I really could go on forever but once again I need a cigarette! >.< Love y'all!!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

The "D" word!

So.... I've never "blogged" before... so.... let's see how this thang goez! And what shall my first post be about? My Divorce, since you're all dying to know about it! I know you are....

Where do I start with this shit? Hmmmm... I'll just type it how I think it.

I, Summer Reding, re-met a guy named Brandon Murphy back in August of 2008. Holy shit it's almost 2011! Anyway, I knew him when I was younger.. didn't speak again till August. We started dating September 10, 2008. He was "the love of my life, the cheese to my macaroni, the missing puzzle piece, blah, blah, blah..." Really was an awesome dude! He listened to Zeppelin and Floyd.. and all the other good music I listen to. So we dated and never fought, he did every thing for me. You call it like you see it. He got kicked out of his mother's house in February 2009, and moved in with my and my family until the end of March. During that time he made the decision to join the USAF so that he could support me and himself. The plan was to get married and have a jolly ol time!

So, the 8 weeks he was in BMT we wrote each other every day. Yes, just like you see in the movies. He asked me to marry him, I said yes. At 17, I start planning a wedding. (what the FUCK WAS I THINKING?) From June 09-January10 he was in Tech School.... Half of the time he was in Biloxi, Ms and the other was in Wichita Falls, TX. We saw each other roughly once a month. We got married November 14, 2009. The very next day he went back to Texas. I then found out we were getting orders to Wichita, Kansas... I honestly thought my life was ending. Of all places... KANSAS?!?! What?! Yea... Kansas. And don't worry, it's every thing it's chalked up to be. Boring, flat, and yes windy. Don't bother fixing your hair here. So, we pack our shit up February 13th, and move our happy asses to Kansas!

It was cool when we first got here. We had our first apartment, lived in a different city, a different STATE for that matter, and well.... we were living the high adult life! I soon got a job at Buffalo Wild Wings and he was at the base. But...... about 3 weeks later we start butting heads. Finances were hard. I lost my 2006 Nissan Murano due to becoming behind on my car note for 2 months. Guess who got underpaid? Mr. Murphy. We had to eviction notices on our apartment door. Guess who's car note money took care of the bills during the month of May... Mrs. Murphy's. Bye bye beautiful Nissan Murano! Hello 1998 Chrysler Sebring. Rollin' white on white! *fist pump*

Then came the fun part. Living pay check to pay check. I'm totally aware that most  couples do. Which is ok.... when you're paying your bills and not buying rifles, fish tanks, lizards and beer. So guess who gave Mr. Murphy an ultimatum... that would be me. I said either we get a joint account or share our money with each other or I'm leaving, and he chose his lousy A1C paycheck. Let me put it to you in a simple way.... if Summer had no cash on her and needed a pack of cigarettes, she would have to beg Mr. Murphy to use his debit card. Mr. Murphy also had the nerve to tell her that the money she had saved up in a jar for a DOWN PAYMENT FOR A VEHICLE SINCE SHE JUST LOST HERS DUE TO HIS LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY, was his back-up money. Uhhhhhh.... no. You chose that we don't share our money, so no, this is not yours you greedy bastard.

So I left. Bye bye Mr. Murphy! The plan wasn't for a divorce, it was to prove a point. But it turned into a long, long point. He then decided he wasn't happy, in love, and didn't want to be married. I was devastated of course. Who wouldn't be? About a month later, I was over it. And then he wasn't. Am I being too honest? I then lived with my umm... "best friend" Liya. Well, the apartment people decided I couldn't live there anymore because you can't have 3 people in the apartment. So, next I went to Jim's. Well..... that lasted for one night. So, off to Shani and Ben's I go! This was all in the span of 3 weeks. During the time from the beginning of August until the 14th of November... we have fought, fought, fought and fought some more. Whether it was me throwing pictures of us across the room, him slamming my hand in the door, me screaming at him in the apartment parking lot, or him telling me what a crazy lunatic bitch I am... all we did was fight. The ironic thing is guess who got phone calls at 3-3:30 sometimes 4 in the morning at least once a week? Me. How many times did I call him? Probably about 5 when we first split. Not to tell him I miss him, to bitch him out and tell him that I hated his guts. Ok, maybe I told him I missed him like once.


Point is, it just wasn't working. So there you have it. It took an arm and a leg to get the fucking divorce final but I eventually did. And so now Mr. Murphy is a free man! Ladies... he's all yours! ;) haha......hahahahahaha....... ha. ha.. he... ha.


If you're wondering if I'm sad/depressed/etc. I'm not. I've gained so much from this experience. I mean.... I'm a little resentful to the whole "love" scene but other than that I'm fine!

I need a cigarette now... this took too long!