Saturday, November 27, 2010

Southern Guidelines Yall!

Well, before I leave this wonderful, beautiful, amazing state of Kansas, I want you Kansas folks (and any other northerners for that matter) to understand us southerners language! So here's a guide to help you understand! (Couey, most of these are for you)

Sure, our way of talkin' is a little retarded and makes us sound real dumb.. but it is what it is!

First of all, the silver thing at the grocery store with 4 wheels on it... THAT IS A BUGGY. We do not call them shopping carts, carts, whatever may have you. It is a damn buggy. Ask anyone and every one, they will tell you that's what it is. I am not crazy.

Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb, Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Rootbeer, Cherry Coke, Mountain Dew, Fanta, etc. THESE ARE ALL COKES! We don't drink Pop, Soda, or Soda Pop..... we drink Cokes. "Ma'am, what kind of coke can I get you?" "I would like a Dr. Pepper." Is that so hard to understand? It's a coke. coke. coke. coke. coke. coke. coke. coke.

We do not drink iced tea either. I mean maybe if you're old, or a diabetic..... other than that we drink SWEET TEA. Usually it's not even a question of "Sweet or Unsweet?" And yes, I refuse to drink Sweet Tea in Kansas unless it's Red Diamond or McAlister's.

The place where you buy cigarettes, beer, late night snacks, and icees (no they don't have those in Kansas) is a gas station. Not a convenience store. Gas Station... usually Circle K.

Mom calls and asks me what I'm doing, "I'm fixin' to go to Circle K." <------- there is nothing wrong with this sentence.

You may think you know what "ghetto" is, but you do not. Come on and stop by on Sprague Street, I'll show you ghetto. Or Jewella, Downtown Shreveport, Cedar Grove, Wafer Road, Princeton Road, Hearne Avenue, etc.. whichever you choose.

Yes, you can be 18 and bartend.

YES! There are actually places where you can buy daiquiris to go. As in a Drive-Thru. It's kind of like McDonald's but with no food and lots of alcohol! We also have Drive-Thru tobacco places. 

For Thanksgiving, it is NOT weird to have Jambalaya or Gumbo. It isn't.

Yall is said by every person in the state of Louisiana. I don't care if you're a doctor. You say Yall.

Our state bird is the Brown Pelican and our state flower is a magnolia.... just in case you were wondering. :)

It is not uncommon to go muddin' in the dead of winter.... It is also not uncommon to ride 4-wheelers and tractors to school on your last day. Well, at least my high school. Yes, I rode in the front end of a tractor once.

For most people Sunday is Church, Football, and beer day.

Yes, we have parties in the woods. That is not weird. It's just really cold sometimes.

We have ice scrapers, ONLY to get the frozen morning dew off of our vehicles, not snow or ice.

Come to our Wal-Mart...... you'll see lots of interesting things :)

We the Revel and Mudbug Madness. At the Revel you can look at pretty art, make some stuff, drink some beer, and listen to music, and eat good food. At Mudbug Madness you eat a lot of crawfish that's overpriced, drink a lot of beer, and listen to a lot of music.

It is a crawfish. Not a crawnad, a crawdad, or a crayfish. And no, you didn't catch 500 at Lake ElDorado, Derek from Kansas. You also did not grill them on a grill.

LSU is pronounced L-ESH-YEW not L-ESS-U

Mardi Gras is where you wake up early, find you a spot by the road, get a lot of beer and alcohol, freeze your ass off, parade starts at 7ish you catch some beads scream really loud and act like the crazy drunk you are. No one gives a fuck at Mardi Gras. It is awesome. Go even further down south and you'll see some tits ;)

Sports are really important to us. That's why our weather station KSLA got bitched out with like 300 comments on facebook about how they were pissed for the weather team interrupting the LSU game. I think it was pretty severe weather, too. Not sure, I was in Kansas. I do know that the weather man had to be escorted out of the news station.

GEAUX means GO. I don't know why Kansas didn't teach yall that EAU makes an O sound... but the X is silent..... GEAUX GEAUX GEAUX! GEAUX TIGERS!!!! GEAUX SAINTS!!! Get it? I mean it's a french state. Hello.

We have parishes not counties. It was very, very, VERY odd when people asked what county I lived in here in Kansas. Which is Sedgwick County. In Louisiana, that would be Sedgwick Parish.

We still have paddles at schools in Louisiana.

Fleur-de-lis are every where. I mean every where. I think it's our state symbol now.

We eat alligator meat. It is VERY delicious.

This is all I can think of for now.... :) Smoke break! If you can think of anything else, please comment it on here or facebook!


Last day of school. In a tractor.


  1. I wish these were numbered so I could just say, ohio is the same way with #.....

    gas station. I didn't even know that was weird? I've seen a ghetto...promise. I miss drive-thrus. We looked all over for one when we moved here :( people drive tractors on the last day of school in Ohio too..but not at my highschool because we were a bunch of "rich white kids". (myself not included) Instead I parked my crappy Camry next to a brand new Hummer or G Wagon. Bleh. Sports are pretty insane in Ohio. High is just not the same out here.

    You can have all the other stuff, but I think you should come visit me in Ohio. I think you'd have fun :)

  2. I wish we had daiquiri's to go here. It was one of my fave things about living in the south, or the greasy, good food from gas stations :) I love alligator meat...especially fried. Yum. I can relate to all this. I married a southerner, lived in the south for a while & I think I was meant to BE a southerner. You know how I feel about the sweet tea, lol.

  3. I love this! All of these things are what I love about Louisiana.

    P.S. I ate an alligator burger for the first time last weekend. Fucking delicious!

    P.P.S. Sara says hi! (She told me to say that. I swear!)

  4. Like looking out my front door (I live in North Carolina) (and am definitely not a native).

  5. I live in South Florida, but the south part of that is totes a misnomer. We have no south in us, really.

    That's for the education! :)


  6. Finally somebody who knows what it's like down here. I live in Southeast LA and agree with everything you said. I have caught crawfish in the ditch on a piece of bacon as a child, gigged frogs in the swamp, been covered head to toe in mud from riding 4-wheelers and even been hunting. I guess I'm just a regular ole southern girl. And proud of it!