Things I just don't understand!

So... sometimes I see things on facebook, on tv, at work, or even just in public... and a lot of it baffles me to pieces! I just wanna share things that I just don't quite understand. (I'm going to go ahead and apologize for being a little too blunt :P)

I'll start with facebook! 

WHY WHY WHY do girls statuses always have to be something along the lines of "Omg, I'm having a horrible day. Don't text me or call me unless you're a family member or a girl. But I love you so much (name goes here) <3 <3 <3" or "I love my life and all the people in it. Especially my AMAZING boyfriend that I love so much. He's just so sweet and presh!" NO! Your boyfriend don't care that he's amazing, sweet, and presh. In fact, I bet he's barfing reading this. Why can't we say something like.... "Today is Thanksgiving. I'm going to spend time with my boyfriend (that I've only known for a couple of months) and we're going to do the same things most girlfriends and boyfriends do. Just because he tells me I'm pretty and texts me 24/7 doesn't make him the most amazing, sweet, presh person on the planet. But I do like him." Little more real, eh? Oh, and by the way. You're dumb to think he doesn't tell every girl he's trying to pull that they're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. And he doesn't love you. He loves your vagina. Ok?


Another thing I can't stand on facebook.... "Thiiz biitch` wanna tAlK thAt biiq shiiT, butt fucc `em iMMa k3ep doiin` me niqqa !!" Really? REALLY? First of all, the bitch that you're referring to probably doesn't even know it's her because you're too much of a coward to say anything to her face. Secondly, if the bitch DOES know it's her, it just took her 10 minutes to read it. So, why don't we type like we should, you fine Americans, that way we can all live peacefully. ;) Seriously though.. if this girl is talking shit, why don't you use the phone and take matters into your own hands instead of putting it on the internet. I'm sure this bitch will be much more terrified with you showing up at her front door. And if you want to talk all ghetto, at least we don't have to see/hear it.

One more thing I can't stand on facebook... letting your cleavage show (on purpose) isn't cute. Taking pictures in front of the mirror in your bathing suit isn't cute. Having the same 10 profile pictures in a row with you in the same outfit, hair, make up, etc. but it 10 different poses isn't cute. C'mon, no one cares that you love yourself that much.



Ok, now for things I don't understand on TV! 


All of these stupid reality shows. Where the hell did the sitcoms go?! I'm sorry Bret Michaels, but you're old and you wear a wig. I know you were cool in the 80s when you were rocking out to "AND BABBBYYY TALK DIRTY TO ME!" BUT, it's time to settle down, cowboy, and find a WOMAN. Not some dumb blonde bimbo that's around my age pierced up, tatted up, and basically naked. (nothing wrong with piercings and tattoos, but let's not be slutty about them) I'm sorry, but if you see a woman with her own name, or her CHILD'S tattooed on her tit..... you should probably reconsider what you're getting into.

I myself, have a potty mouth. I know this. But I absolutely do not think it's ok that words are becoming uncensored on television. What happens when you leave the TV on E! while your kid was taking a nap, you get up to go do something, she comes in the living room and says, "Mommy what does bitch mean?" C'mon America... I don't give a shit about much, but you could at least have some dignity!

I also don't understand polygamy. I'm just going to leave it at that. Kody Brown, you are a strange mother fucker.


Now on to the things that I don't understand at work....


You can not get 18 Traditional Boneless wings. We can not put bones in processed chicken.


Your 2 year old that's running all around the restaurant, put it in a high chair.


If I ask you if you want ranch, bleu cheese, or celery and you say no. Don't ask me for some when I bring your food out.


Don't touch me. Just don't. Whether it's slapping me on the ass with a menu, or touching my arm. Don't touch me.


You and your friends that come eat in your Tapout and Affliction clothes, aren't cool. Just more reason for me to verify that you are, for SURE, a douche bag.


Leaving me a 2.00 tip and on the credit card slip, writing "your hot" (which by the way is YOU'RE) or your phone number, yea. At least leave a good tip.


Now for the public entertainment...


I'm a firm believer that you can go into public looking like shit. If I need a pack of cigarettes and I'm in my royal blue sweat pants and a neon yellow hoodie, you best believe I'm not changing my clothes. However, I wouldn't go into a restaurant looking that way. Or the mall. Walmart, maybe.

Making out in the middle of the mall, or at every red light is completely unnecessary.

Walking down the middle of the parking lot when I'm driving trying to find a parking spot really makes me want to run you over.

When it's 50 degrees outside, and your child is in their car seat in nothing but a diaper and a shirt with no shoes.... something is wrong, terribly wrong.

Wearing your flat bill hat backwards leaning way, way back in your seat with your rap music blaring isn't cool. Especially in your '97 Crown Victoria.

There's really no need to speed off like you're cool after I just rejected you.





Ok, ok I'm done. I really could go on forever but once again I need a cigarette! >.< Love y'all!!